you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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