I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
