I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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