she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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