How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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