So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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