i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my sisters under your porch take her home
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
