At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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