We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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