Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
