Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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