Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
