yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
