At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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