But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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