This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize