I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
