I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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