My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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