garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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