I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize