What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
