am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
