Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
