how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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