But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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