I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
