I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
