He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
