I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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