We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
