cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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