drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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