What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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