if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize