Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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