I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
