perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
