well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Girls should come with a carfax report
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
