If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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