Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
