He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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