if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
