please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Enjoy the penises
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
