Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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