You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize