I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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