I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
