Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
