now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
