3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
