I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
