I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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