I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
