he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
someone owes me an orgasm
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
