all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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