yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
