oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
