hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
