Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
