Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
