i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
