She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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