shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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