i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
