Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
