Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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